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World’s Easiest Cheesecake

Super-lazy Method

48oz. pkts
cream cheese or Neufchâtel.
4-5

eggs (4 duck eggs, 5 chicken eggs)

cups
sugar
1
tbsp
vanilla
  • Warm cream cheese until malleable.  (From the fridge, microwave for 10 minutes on low power, breaking up/stirring ever few minutes.)
  • Mix ingredients thoroughly.
  • Pour into two ready-made Oreo cookie crusts.
  • Bake for 20-25 minutes at 350°F.
  • Chill for 1 hour on the counter-top, then 3-4 hours in the fridge.
Slightly-better-but-so-much-work-it's-almost-not-worth-it Method

48oz. pkts
cream cheese or Neufchâtel.
4-5

eggs (4 duck eggs, 5 chicken eggs)

cups
sugar
1
tbsp
vanilla
cups
crushed Oreos
¼
cup
melted butter

cup
sugar
  • Warm cream cheese until malleable.  (From the fridge, microwave for 10 minutes on low power, breaking up/stirring ever few minutes.)
  • While cream cheese is melting, crush Oreos and mix with butter and ⅓ cup sugar.
  • Press Oreo crust mixture as tightly as you can into a spring-form pan
  • Mix cream cheese, eggs, 1½ cups of sugar, and vanilla thoroughly.
  • Add cream cheese mixture to spring-form pan.
  • Bake for 30-35 minutes at 350°F.
  • Chill for 1 hour on the counter-top, then 3-4 hours in the fridge.
Variations:
  • Top with stuff.  Any old kind of stuff that sounds good.  Caramel sauce: yes!  Ice cream: yes!  Blueberry pie filling: sure! Chopped nuts: Why not? Pesto: no, not so much. Trout: absolutely not.
  • Mix chocolate chips into the batter.
  • Mix equal parts of chocolate and caramel chips into the batter.
  • Mix Oreo chunks into the batter.